Conquer summer with this custom 1977 Dodge Tradesman van

Vanning never died, man. While fair-weather vanners ditched their groovy Plymouth Voyagers for front-wheel drive imports, hard-core custom freaks have been keeping the fire burning all these years.

While we're not ready to proclaim a full-on custom van renaissance, we can feel the revival coming: It's a subtle yet noticeable rocking emanating from certain corners of the American and Swedish car scenes. And, for some reason, from those crazy daijiban guys in Japan.

This bitchin' 1977 Dodge Tradesman B-200 named -- one always names a van, as you would a trusty steed -- "Gold Rush" might be the most painless way to jump right into the scene.

No agonizing over which porthole window to install. No cutting and trimming wood paneling. No dealing with the shag carpeting installation.

Just pay up, twist the key, light up those side pipes and blast off. A world of celebration, beachside chess and just hangin' out with the gang awaits.

The seller lays out the details:

"Sold new by C.Peters Inc. in Muscatine, IA. on 9/17./77 to Mr. and Mrs.Schramm . The van is just as it was new...untouched by time...right out the ``70```s This baby was cranking out The ``Stones``, Bad Company, Aerosmith, Led Zepplin and all the rest of the Rocker`s in their prime !! Fully loaded w/ Saddle color ``original`` vinyl bucket seats, full custom carpeting, w/ A/C, All custom wood interior,storage cabinet, rear bedw/ ``privacy`` curtains, under bed storage, cup holders, c.b. radio, am / fm cassette, 8 - track player..."

The list of features goes on.

It's just about perfect, and it's got the trophies to prove it. We'd personally go bigger with the graphics, though. With nothing but those little diamond glint rear windows breaking up its slablike sides, there's plenty of room to pick up an airbrush and tell us a story. Since the “giant frog/Aztec fantasy” saga is totally played out, we're thinking maybe something about space gold prospectors on Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars. You know, as a nod to the current “gold fever” Theme. Only in space.

It'd be a shame to touch this piece of art, though: It's just too clean inside and out. It had better be, for $28,500. That's a huge chunk of change for an old van, especially when you realize that $22,000 can apparently get you a low-mileage Ford Econoline custom, but this Dodge does appear to have been obsessively maintained. And we mean obsessively: Original documentation is in mint condition, preserved for eternity between sheets of plastic laminate.

Someone really, really liked this thing. It's not hard to see why. What you have to ask yourself is: Are you worthy of inheriting what the seller refers to as "a one of a kind piece of our 70`s history" (before adding, puzzlingly, "...Long live Woodstock !! )? Search your feelings, but don't spend too much time navel-gazing. Peak vanning season is nearly upon us.

Explore this gold brick from every angle, some uncomfortably intimate, at Hemmings. There are 50 photos in all. See if you can spot the pinstriping on the top of the front wheel arch!

By Graham Kozak