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One Lap of the Web: A dashing Debonair, a doppelg

Tue, 04 Mar 2014

-- We would have to imagine that Bill Hitchens was stuck behind too many people dallying in the left lane on his way to work. Fortunately for him, and every other Georgian who's ever held a deep loathing for the 60-mph rolling roadblock, Hitchens is a Representative in the Georgia House. Hence, House Bill 459, the "slow-poke bill" which would make it a misdemeanor for any driver who doesn't move to the right when a faster car approaches. Hallelujah! Praise the Peach State for a piece of legislature that will no doubt be scrutinized and examined as upholding safety standards and mitigating traffic and possibly saving lives that would otherwise be lost to road rage, but let's face it -- it exists because it makes our lives better, especially for those who follow the speed limit. Which is all of us, right? “My reason for doing this is more for an educational opportunity for people who don't understand you're not supposed to ride 55, 60 mph in that left lane when you've got 15, 16, 17 people lined up behind you," said American hero Bill Hitchens. "[That's] the spark that ignites road rage." Hitchens for President, 2016!

-- Richard Noble believes that his Bloodhound SSC, with Andy Green behind the wheel, will propel a human being to 1,000 mph, wheels on the ground, with two jet engines and a Formula One V8. The gasoline engine drives the fuel pump alone. The Bloodhound weighs 7 tons, is 44 feet long, cost $70 million, employs 5,000 junior high schools as to entice children into science and engineering fields, and is expected to cover five football fields per second -- in the Kalahari Desert, the only place vast enough for the 12-mile run. And yet, it's still not big enough to contain the testicular fortitude of Mr. Green, who at 1,000 mph must travel 237 mph faster than when he last set the land speed record, with the Thrust SSC. John F. Burns at the New York Times profiles Noble, Green, and the Bloodhound gang.

-- For sale, straight from Japan: one Mitsubishi Debonair, a personal affection of Murilee Martin (in the same way that Ishmael had a fondness for large sea creatures). That's right! You could start your own rock 'n' roll tattoo parlor, the seller helpfully suggests, with this white-walled, checkerboard-floored, black and chrome rockabilly dreamboat! Mitsubishi built the first Debonair from 1964 to 1986, by former GM designer Hans S. Bretzner. Which really doesn't explain why it looks like a Lincoln Continental. But hey, this was back when saying something was "made in Japan" warranted a fist to the skull, a foreign notion we just don't understand. But this one hits all the requirements for sitting in a rainy parking lot next to a heavily tattooed pinup girl chain smoking Luckys and dancing to Eddie Cochran. Show those Ford Falcon enthusiasts how Yoyogi Park does it. Guitar Wolf tapes not included.

-- Chad Hiltz got a stripped-out 1962 Chrysler Newport rustbucket for free, which in anyone else's hands would be more of a burden than a gift. "I just didn't know what to do with the car after I got it," he said. (Jungle gym? Artificial reef?) But, undaunted by lower property values in his tiny Nova Scotia village, he looked into his garage and that's when he decided upon a stroke of genius, or absurdity: take his two-door 1974 Oldsmobile Cutlass and plop the roof on top, all the way in the front. And then, a front-drive Eldorado drivetrain, all the way in the back. If the result looks like the legendary Deora, that's entirely coincidental. Hiltz's Green Goblin has already made it to the primer stage, and now awaits some dazzling kandy paint in time for Boston's World of Wheels at the end of this month. Hemmings has the full story, and tons of pictures.



Chad Hiltz
The Green Goblin takes shape.

Images from Favcars, Green Goblin Customs




By Blake Z. Rong