Patrick Long and the Porsche GT3 RS 4.0: Caffeine Delivery System

If you were Porsche's only North American factory driver, and if you'd won at the 24 Hours of Le Mans, you might feel as if you had every right to be a less-than-swell character. After all, those bona fides unquestionably position you as one of the finer shoes on the planet.

Patrick Long, however, is a nice dude. A nice dude with respect for his elders, like one Hurley Haywood. He's also a good enough driver that he apparently can manhandle a Porsche 997 GT3 RS 4.0 around Barber Motorsports Park's circuit without Haywood's cup of morning Joe violently listing its way out of the 911's woefully janky cupholders.

That's some straight-up Takumi Fujiwara-grade business, right there. If this motor-racing thing doesn't pan out, perhaps Long might consider career opportunities in the tofu-delivery industry.

By Davey G. Johnson