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One Lap of the Web: Nine cars you'll drive in hell, airbag watermelon destruction and luxury, Soviet-style

-- After carefully weighing the options, Motor Authority has arrived at a list of the nine cars you'll drive in hell. The Aztek is an easy (if misunderstood) target, and the Renault Fuego makes sense on the basis of its name alone but there are a few unexpected additions, too -- like the Tesla Model S, which won't be easy to keep running because “… Hell is a lot like the San Francisco airport--roughly five thousand people and their 25,000 battery-powered devices, all fighting for a pull off Hell's only functional power outlet.” -- Don't ask us why, but we're fascinated with old Soviet steel, from the no-nonsense heavy duty trucks the crappy Cars of the People. The supposedly luxurious, Packard-inspired Chaika M-13 limousine sits somewhere between the two, and you can read a Special Interest Auto article on the car at Hemmings.

Jaguar: Sales rose 8% in 2008

Jaguar Cars Ltd., which stopped reporting sales figures after being purchased by India's Tata Motors in June, said global sales rose 8 percent last year while U.S. volume fell. Jaguar sold 65,000 vehicles in 2008, Managing Director Mike O'Driscoll said in an interview at the Detroit auto show.

Runaway ostrich causes traffic chaos

Rush hour in the town of Tunbridge Wells took a humorous turn yesterday when a runaway ostrich shot past cars at speeds of over 40mph, with a clear disregard for road conditions, traffic and speed limits. Alarmingly, the rogue bird is still on the run from police and there are fears it could cause carnage in the town centre, as the RSCPA warns fully-grown ostriches max out at around 60mph. On Bing: see pictures of runaway ostriches Cars named after animals If the ostrich were to collide with an individual, its lack of crumple zones means the pedestrian could be badly injured and, as far we’re aware, ostriches are yet to be put through strict Euro NCAP crash tests.